Deconstructing R.

I like the ... with big booties in 'em
I like the crotch on you
I want what you've got baby

In 1993, I was 17 and just finishing up my last year in high school. That year also marked the first time I heard the words “I don't see nothing wrong with a little bump 'n grind.”

I have never been a lover or a hater of R. Kelly’s music. I thought his lyrics were ridiculous (“you remind me of my jeep, I wanna ride it” was particularly bad), but no more inane than anyone else being played on the radio at the time.

And then homeboy got busted.

I am a celebrity gossip whore of the worst kind, so of course I was all over it like fat kid on a smartie. Here is the rap sheet:

• Patrice Jones filed a suit against him for alleged statutory rape (she was apparently 16 when he was bumpin' and grindin' with her) and for forcing her to have an abortion.
• He was arrested after indictment on 21 counts of child pornography, which included a very graphic tape of him fucking a girl of 14. (He denied it was him, even though IT TOTALLY WAS HIM!)
• Montina Woods filed a suit against him for secretly taping the two of them having sex. (The tape is all over the Internet at this point.)
• He is arrested on charges of child pornography yet again, after the police raid his apartment only to find digital pictures of him fucking yet another underage girl.

So after all of this, I am of course completely repelled by this man. He not only makes hokey music about boning this and that, he likes the pre-pubescent ladies. So grody.

What does the general public do? They continue to buy his albums of course. He’s successfully released 4 albums since his arrests and his latest one, TP.3 Reloaded, just debuted at number one.

Let’s consider R. Kelly’s situation. He’s still not cleared of all charges; in fact, he’s still scheduled to appear in court. And although they buy his albums, people still think he’s likes to fuck young girls. What does one do if one were R. Kelly?

I think the last thing would be to release an album of hardcore songs about fucking with titles like Sex Weed, Touchin’ and (Sex) Love is What We’re Makin’.

My favourite song lyrics on this album appear in the song Put My T-Shirt On

T-shirt on gurl I love to see you wit my t-shirt on after we just got through hitten it in my home
(baby this is wat I wonna do)
wonna sex you in my white t stroke you in my white t honey put this...t-shirt on
gurl I love to see you wit my t-shirt on after we just got through hitten it in my home
(gurl this is what i wont)
bend it ova in that white-t let me hit it in that white-t

Wow. All this just before he has to go tell a judge that he is not a pervert who likes to bone young girls.

I must say. The man has got some big balls.

New to this stuff

For me, this is the year of “dealing with some bad shit,” which is something that is new to me. For the first time ever, I had to deal with the death of someone I really cared for and who had been a part of my life since I was 16. I have known people who have died, but I’ve never been really close to any of them, so I never really had to confront the issue so explicitly.

Added to this, there were two cancer scares within my social circle. So now people my own age (28) are starting to get sick, which is also an eye-opening experience. When you’re young, you don’t think about getting sick and when you are faced with the issue, it’s almost unbelievable.

One of my closest and dearest friends in the world lives in London. We’ll call her H. H lives there with her wonderful sister (D), brother-in-law (M) and niece (B). We see each other at Christmas. We hang out with each other’s families. I get updates and photos on B and her developments. They are good people.

I got into work late on Thursday and immediately had to get some stuff done right away. I didn’t get to the day’s news until about 10AM my time. When I read about the bombings in London, I immediately felt my stomach drop. I sat there for a few minutes and re-read the story, just to make sure that I had read it right.

All of a sudden I was frantic. I called H’s mobile phone and couldn’t get her. I kept hitting re-dial. I ransacked my desk for her home number and then realized it was on my Palm, which was at home. I sent an hysterical email. I looked for H’s mom’s phone number and picked up the phone to call her.

Then I got the email. They were safe. Only M was on the Tube. He’s shaken up but he’s safe. I started to cry tears of relief. I had never been so panicked.

H called later to give me details. M had taken a train that he didn’t normally take because he was on his way to a meeting. He just missed a train. When the second train came, he moved further down the platform as he thought it might be less crowded.

The bomb went off near King's Cross station. M saw a bright light and heard a loud bang. All he could think about was his wife and daughter. Above ground, a bomb had gone off at the tube station near H’s office, so they were sealed off for hours.

It was so close for them, especially M. Although I am so grateful that they are safe, I keep thinking about how close it was for M. What if he hadn’t moved over? He was so close to getting on a train that killed 21 people and injured so many more.

I know that all this is just the tip of the iceberg. There are going to be a lot more moments in my life that will involve death and tragedy. I have to somehow learn how to handle it more effectively and somehow learn and grow from it.