New to this stuff

For me, this is the year of “dealing with some bad shit,” which is something that is new to me. For the first time ever, I had to deal with the death of someone I really cared for and who had been a part of my life since I was 16. I have known people who have died, but I’ve never been really close to any of them, so I never really had to confront the issue so explicitly.

Added to this, there were two cancer scares within my social circle. So now people my own age (28) are starting to get sick, which is also an eye-opening experience. When you’re young, you don’t think about getting sick and when you are faced with the issue, it’s almost unbelievable.

One of my closest and dearest friends in the world lives in London. We’ll call her H. H lives there with her wonderful sister (D), brother-in-law (M) and niece (B). We see each other at Christmas. We hang out with each other’s families. I get updates and photos on B and her developments. They are good people.

I got into work late on Thursday and immediately had to get some stuff done right away. I didn’t get to the day’s news until about 10AM my time. When I read about the bombings in London, I immediately felt my stomach drop. I sat there for a few minutes and re-read the story, just to make sure that I had read it right.

All of a sudden I was frantic. I called H’s mobile phone and couldn’t get her. I kept hitting re-dial. I ransacked my desk for her home number and then realized it was on my Palm, which was at home. I sent an hysterical email. I looked for H’s mom’s phone number and picked up the phone to call her.

Then I got the email. They were safe. Only M was on the Tube. He’s shaken up but he’s safe. I started to cry tears of relief. I had never been so panicked.

H called later to give me details. M had taken a train that he didn’t normally take because he was on his way to a meeting. He just missed a train. When the second train came, he moved further down the platform as he thought it might be less crowded.

The bomb went off near King's Cross station. M saw a bright light and heard a loud bang. All he could think about was his wife and daughter. Above ground, a bomb had gone off at the tube station near H’s office, so they were sealed off for hours.

It was so close for them, especially M. Although I am so grateful that they are safe, I keep thinking about how close it was for M. What if he hadn’t moved over? He was so close to getting on a train that killed 21 people and injured so many more.

I know that all this is just the tip of the iceberg. There are going to be a lot more moments in my life that will involve death and tragedy. I have to somehow learn how to handle it more effectively and somehow learn and grow from it.