Victoria Beckham should never speak out loud

Now, I am as fascinated with Victoria Beckham as the next person and cannot get enough of her bony ass in trashy tabloid photos. However, what I cannot seem to fathom is despite the fact that she is unabashedly ridiculed for her stupidity as she is praised for her style, if not more, she still has the audacity to tell Jon Stewart that he isn't funny. Does she even know how to spell sarcasm?

Plus we all know that David is too hot for her. She is essentially the Jennifer Aniston of Britain and we're all just waiting for the day that Angelina goes over there to steal David away from her.

OMG. So hot.

Diego Luna rocks the house with his hotness.

Ivana Young Man

It's better to be a babysitter than a nurse.

The above is the tagline for Ivana Trump’s new reality television show, Ivana Young Man.

Hold up.

How did I not hear about this sooner?

First of all. I effing LOVE Ivana. She is stitched up tighter than a corset and so pumped full of collagen that her lips don’t actually move when she speaks. Plus she beat the Donald at his own game and she found a hairstyle in 1989 and stuck with it.

Ivana like me, dates a younger man. While the age difference between me and my toyboy is only five years, Ivana is a whopping 20+ years older than her man Rossano Rubicondi. FYI. Rossano is hot and Italian.

Back to the show. I just happened to flip to the W network and saw Ivana’s face pop by. The essential premise is that six younger guys vie for the attention of an older lady. Said older lady begins with a makeover from Ivana’s gang of gays. The show is two hours long and ends with a winner. It’s like Jerry Hall’s Kept (which I also love), only wrapped up in one episode and set in New York.

From the first episode here are the highlights from the show:

• Ivana shows up at the end of each segment in these outrageous costumes. For example, at the end of the rock climbing segment, she shows up in a chiffon top, patent leather pants and a blonde fall in her hair. Fan-fucking-tastic.
• Ivana’s accent is amazing. Especially when she is telling one of the guys to “get some balls.”
• Almost immediately the guys are topless and climbing a wall and then afterward they are topless and playing basketball.
• Ivana uses her real-life boyfriend Rossano as a spy. He’s super Italian and just as over the top as Ivana.
• All Kathy (the older lady) keeps talking about is how hot the guys are without their shirts on.
• Ivana dismisses Rossano and relieves him of his services by saying “Take the limo and I’ll see you at home.” Go home bitch!
• Kathy doesn't decided on who leaves, Ivana does it. She gets up and says, "I have made my decision." Then she tells the boys whether or not they are "desired" or "not desired." Kathy bursts into tears after her dismissals. Ivana's response? "It was for your own good." Fierce!
• She gives the guys $2500 to spend on a gift for Kathy. How do I get on this show?
  

Between Ivana and Jerry, I suppose that the younger man/older woman situation is definitely going mainstream.

Hot time in the city

So I’ve just had one of the most relaxing weekends I’ve had in eons. It’s weekends like these that really remind me that:

• Taking time out to really unwind is ever so necessary
• Toronto really is a kick-ass place to live

Saturday

I got up and had a two-hour conversation with my good friends Gina and Hilda in London. Then I made myself a fantastic breakfast of toast, poached eggs and bacon. I ate in front of the television while watching my latest obsession, The Hills.

Then I took a nap before going out to get a manicure and pedicure at Jade Nails with my friend Khavita. I got my nails did and they are fierce and painted in a colour called The Thrill of Brazil. Nothing like having cute Vietnamese ladies going at your feet with a cheese grater to get rid of all those nasty calluses.

Chris and I then headed over for some Korean barbecue on Queen where we ate our faces off. Try the ox tongue next time. You won’t regret it. We capped off our date with a stop off at Ben and Jerry’s.


Sunday

I slept in until 10AM and hauled ass to Rol San for some dim sum with my friend Denise. We then wandered into Kensington Market in search of a patio and some booze. As luck would have it, we ran into my friend Andrew and his friend Mike, who joined us in our quest. After being denied twice, (booze before 1PM is hard to find in Kensington) we settled into a patio and ordered up beer and sangria.

After taking our leave of Andrew and Mike, Denise and I wandered around picking up groceries for the week and soaking up the sun. After braving the crowds of Chinatown (in 30 degree plus weather, it’s no small feat) we called it an afternoon.

I’m home now getting ready to put a roast in the oven and I’m completely satisfied with my weekend.

I am sooo looking forward to the rest of the summer!

Je ne regrette rien

So Zidane had his interview on French television...

First of all. Zidane looked effing HOT.

Second of all, I thought he explained himself just fine. It's simple. Some asshole was talking shit about his mother and his sister and he defended them. Who the fuck cares if you're Zidane at the World Cup. You start with the personal attacks and you know it's going to escalate.

Materazzi knew what he was doing when he started talking. He is a dirty player who deserved what he got.

Here is the interview en Francais.

Zidane is a hero, Materazzi is a zero

I was hugely disappointed in the outcome of Sunday’s game and still feel like the best team didn’t win. More disappointing still, was the fact that one of my favourite World Cup heroes ever, Zinédine Zidane, ended his career on a sour note.

From what I can tell, Zidane is basically the Pete Sampras of football. He’s essentially a quiet guy, who blows up on occasion. There is one other head-butting incident from his days at Juventus and his nickname is the Mad Monk. Nevertheless, the Zidane camp is saying that it takes a lot to provoke Zizou.

Apparently FIFA thinks so too as they’re now looking into Marco Materazzi’s involvement in the head-butting incident. While initially denying that he did anything to provoke such a reaction from Zidane, here is what Materazzi had to say when he found out he was being investigated:

“I did insult him, it’s true, but I categorically did not call him a terrorist,” Materazzi said. “I’m not cultured and I don’t even know what an Islamic terrorist is. I held his shirt for a few seconds only, then he turned round and spoke to me, sneering. He looked me up and down arrogantly and said, ‘If you really want my shirt, I’ll give it to you afterwards’. ”

Hmm. So now he’s being investigated, he’s coming clean about the insult, which he initially had denied. Publicly, Materazzi has, at best, a spotty disciplinary record in the sport of football.

The speculation is that the insult he uttered involved:

• An insulting comment about Zidane’s mother
• A racist remark about Zidane or his mom being a terrorist (Zidane’s parents are Algerian)

Given all the circumstantial evidence, I’m going to go ahead and make my judgement on this one. Yes, head-butting an opponent is inappropriate. However, if said opponent is insulting your family or your race than he better duck, ‘cause I’m expecting to see a swing.


Materazzi is lucky that it was Zidane he was insulting and that he only got a head-butt to the chest. If he had pulled the same shit with someone like Wayne Rooney, he would’ve gotten his ass beaten to a pulp. I hope that the rumours aren’t true and that Materazzi didn’t say what people are saying he did. But if they are, I hope Italy meets France in the finals of Euro 2008 and Theirry Henry elbows him in the face. Hockey styles.

Endquote

One of Italy’s senators, Roberto Calderoli (who once showed up to work wearing a t-shirt with the offensive Mohammed cartoons on it), comments on the French team post-World Cup:

"Italy beat a team which, in the quest for results, sacrificed its own identity by selecting blacks, Muslims and communists"

Makes you wonder. Is Italy the new Germany?

Hot Italian Sausage

Some of the members of the World Cup winning Italian Football team in an underwear ad for Dolce & Gabbana.