Ivana Young Man

It's better to be a babysitter than a nurse.

The above is the tagline for Ivana Trump’s new reality television show, Ivana Young Man.

Hold up.

How did I not hear about this sooner?

First of all. I effing LOVE Ivana. She is stitched up tighter than a corset and so pumped full of collagen that her lips don’t actually move when she speaks. Plus she beat the Donald at his own game and she found a hairstyle in 1989 and stuck with it.

Ivana like me, dates a younger man. While the age difference between me and my toyboy is only five years, Ivana is a whopping 20+ years older than her man Rossano Rubicondi. FYI. Rossano is hot and Italian.

Back to the show. I just happened to flip to the W network and saw Ivana’s face pop by. The essential premise is that six younger guys vie for the attention of an older lady. Said older lady begins with a makeover from Ivana’s gang of gays. The show is two hours long and ends with a winner. It’s like Jerry Hall’s Kept (which I also love), only wrapped up in one episode and set in New York.

From the first episode here are the highlights from the show:

• Ivana shows up at the end of each segment in these outrageous costumes. For example, at the end of the rock climbing segment, she shows up in a chiffon top, patent leather pants and a blonde fall in her hair. Fan-fucking-tastic.
• Ivana’s accent is amazing. Especially when she is telling one of the guys to “get some balls.”
• Almost immediately the guys are topless and climbing a wall and then afterward they are topless and playing basketball.
• Ivana uses her real-life boyfriend Rossano as a spy. He’s super Italian and just as over the top as Ivana.
• All Kathy (the older lady) keeps talking about is how hot the guys are without their shirts on.
• Ivana dismisses Rossano and relieves him of his services by saying “Take the limo and I’ll see you at home.” Go home bitch!
• Kathy doesn't decided on who leaves, Ivana does it. She gets up and says, "I have made my decision." Then she tells the boys whether or not they are "desired" or "not desired." Kathy bursts into tears after her dismissals. Ivana's response? "It was for your own good." Fierce!
• She gives the guys $2500 to spend on a gift for Kathy. How do I get on this show?
  

Between Ivana and Jerry, I suppose that the younger man/older woman situation is definitely going mainstream.