Oh Whitney

I <3 Magneta Lane

In 1982 I was six years old and a FOB. I had been in Canada about two years. My family was broke at the time, but we had enough money for a television and basic cable. It was then that I got my first taste of girl rock.

I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll was released in 1982 and spent seven weeks at the top of the pop charts. The first time I saw Joan Jett rock out in the video, I felt an amazing surge of electricity coarse through my veins. Something about her looking like a badass and murdering the crowd with her guitar riff made me want to be just like her.

Years later, the only musical instrument I had mastered was the very un-rock ‘n’ roll flute and the only real song I had performed live was an Italian art song. Nevertheless my love of the lady rockers did not die.

The past few years have been filled with disappointment for me as girl rock was replaced with vapid chick pop. The Christinas and Jessicas of the world stripped their way into the general consciousness and girl rock had to get in the backseat. This is not to say that girl rock didn’t have representation over the past few years (I had Le Tigre among others), it just wasn’t as prominent nor as plentiful.

Then Sleater-Kinney knocked it out of the park last year with The Woods. Girl rock was beginning to awake from her slumber.

This year Magneta Lane released Dancing with Daggers and girl rock officially fluttered her lashes again.

Magneta Lane is like a better, female version of The Strokes. I am obsessed. Listen to it when you get a chance.

Viva les girl rockers.

(Notable mention to Tokyo Police Club who are not girl rockers per se, but are still fun and opening up for Magneta Lane for their April 6 show at the Horseshoe.)

Ouch!

Man Hurls Knives, Severed Penis In Rampage

Police Respond To Calls Of Man Smashing Car Windows

CHICAGO -- The Chicago Sun-Times reported Friday that a Chicago man resisted arrest in a most unusual way Wednesday morning.

Jakub Fik, 33, went on a rampage, smashing car windows on the city's Northwest Side. When police approached him, Fik hurled several knives and his severed penis at the officers.

Police subdued Fik with a Taser gun and took him into custody.

"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

According to the published report, doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday. A hospital spokesman said he was listed in good condition Thursday.

The paper said that Fik lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice Street. He is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak.

Fik told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.

The suspect was bleeding when officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan told The Sun-Times.

"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said. Included in the hurled items was the man's penis.

He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.

The officer said he sneaked to the side of the house and stunned Fik with the Taser gun. The suspect continued to struggle with officers near the front steps of the home.

"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.

The published report included a statement from a University of Chicago urologist who said that the reattachment of a penis, while unusual, can be a highly successful operation.

Guess who I get to interview?

I am SOOOOO EXCITED!

MSN Conversation between Lulu & Scott

My friend Scott has broken some new social barriers with his notorious poker night by inviting his first gay participant. Since its inception, Scott's poker night has been a point of contention.

However, with the addition of Attit and Chris, the game broke its first social barrier, that of race and now with the addition of Chris #2, the game has moved with the times and embraced differences within sexual orientation.

The only social barrier left to overcome has to do with the issue of gender. On this issue, Scott will not budge. His argument? Sometimes a man needs a little cock.

Here is our conversation from today.

scottstwocents.blogspot.com: howland says:
he may be coming to the poker game now
Lulu says:
hot
Lulu says:
finally
Lulu says:
your game has broken barriers
Lulu says:
not only for race
Lulu says:
but for sexual orientation
Lulu says:
only thing left
Lulu says:
is the gender barrier
scottstwocents.blogspot.com: howland says:
nope
scottstwocents.blogspot.com: howland says:
no woman allowed
scottstwocents.blogspot.com: howland says:
dan is taliban
scottstwocents.blogspot.com: howland says:
i need a guys night now
Lulu says:
HAHAHA
scottstwocents.blogspot.com: howland says:
before i could've gone either way
Lulu says:
the old lady riding you
Lulu says:
?
scottstwocents.blogspot.com: howland says:
this is sausage
scottstwocents.blogspot.com: howland says:
nope
scottstwocents.blogspot.com: howland says:
but a guy needs his time
scottstwocents.blogspot.com: howland says:
i work with women
scottstwocents.blogspot.com: howland says:
live with women
scottstwocents.blogspot.com: howland says:
i need to cock rock it sometimes ya know
Lulu says:
oh yah
Lulu says:
you definitely need some cock
scottstwocents.blogspot.com: howland says:
gth
scottstwocents.blogspot.com: howland says:
you deserve to be sick
scottstwocents.blogspot.com: howland says:
hahahaha
Lulu says:
and you deserve some cock
scottstwocents.blogspot.com: howland says:
you are tooooo much
Lulu says:
you love it
Lulu says:
you did it to yourself
scottstwocents.blogspot.com: howland says:
true

The Da Vinci Code

I soooooo did not want to read this book, let alone like it.

A few years ago my friend Hilda bought me a copy of the Da Vinci Code at a book sale. I am not at all a big fan of fiction and rarely read it. Also, I had heard a lot of hype surrounding this book and like the cultural snob that I am, immediately just put it in my “read it if I am trapped in my house and all other books, magazines or anything else with writing on it has been destroyed” pile.

Meanwhile, everyone else I knew could not stop asking me to borrow the damn thing. I think I leant it out to about three people. Each of them had the same reaction. No one could put this book down once they got their hands on it. This went on for about a year after I received the book.

Still. I didn’t want to buy into the hype. So each time I got the book back, I just left it on my bookshelf unread for another year.

Then the film talk began. Again, people were abuzz. Great debates began springing up arguing whether or not Tom Hanks was the right person for the lead role of Robert Langdon. Everyone seemed to agree on the casting of Audrey Tatou for the role of Sophie Neveu.

Still. I held out and the book remained unread by me for a few more months.

Until this weekend. My good friend Erica came for a visit this weekend and at about midnight on Friday, she demanded that I read the first five pages of the book.

As it turns out, I couldn’t put this book down and ended up reading it until 5:00AM and basically finished the book in roughly six hours.

The Da Vinci Code is just a good old fashioned thriller with some of the most intricate, yet uncontrived plot twists I’ve ever encountered in a book.

I cannot wait until the movie comes out!

South Dakota makes me sad

So it’s finally official. If you’re a woman in South Dakota and you want to have an abortion, you better be dying.

This is a sad, sad development.

Read more about the law on CBC.ca

How cute is Jake Gyllenhaal?

Now I know this is not new, but it's new to me. Although I think Jakeypoo is adorable, I wasn't so convinced that he should be on my "bangable" list. However, I've just seen some pictures that have moved Jakeypoo into bangable territory.

Here is Jake having dinner with Ang Lee:



So it seems that Jakeypoo had a bit too much to drink at said dinner.



And my favourite. Here he is looking like a jackass as he crashes a photo of Ang and Uma.


I am a sucker for drunken jackass antics. Well done Jakeypoo, well done.

I like my bangs extra crispy

Today I saw a woman with crispy bangs and it brought back some memories. For those of you who don’t know what that is, refer to the above photograph.

Now I am not above the crispy bang as during the mid-80’s I did my best to achieve the perfect crispy bang, to no avail. I never had the right cut, nor the right weight to my hair for it.

Here is how one achieves the crispy bang:

1. You start with a haircut that is not unlike a mullet. The only real difference is that the business starts further up, so that your bangs feather around your face like a sweet sweet baby chick (with a mullet).
2. Spray the bejeezus out of said feathered bangs. Aqua Net was a late 80s favourite.
3. Using a curling iron you curl your front bangs under, so that they are nice and rounded and the tips of the bangs curl to touch your forehead.
4. You fluff the surrounding area around the curled bangs.

Like I said earlier, my attempts at this look were never successful. None less successful then the time I did my hair just before my friend Paula’s 11th birthday.

I had gotten myself all dolled up and really gave’r with the Acqua Net for Paula’s party. Sadly, while I was a fan of the crispy bang, I was also a fan of playing with open flames.

This particular day, just before leaving for Paula’s party, I was seeing how long I could hang on to a lit toothpick before it burned my fingertips. While I was focusing on not burning my finger with a burning toothpick, my pathetic crispy bangs went up in flames like Scarlett’s plantation in Gone with the Wind.

Le sigh.

Leave it to the hicks to make me feel all nostalgic.