I cannot believe that the Bachelor franchise has been around since 2002. I will have to admit, I did follow the one with Aaron Buerge, only to be kicked in the teeth when he ditched Helene. (She was too good for him.)Tonight’s double episode premier was a real snoozer. First and foremost, Dr. Travis Stork has got to be the most boring goody-goody to step into the bachelor shoes.
He doesn’t fool me though. I’m willing to bet that this guy has a sex tape of him doing some Thai transexual hooker up the butt.
The bachelorettes, of course, all showed up wearing the knowing scent of desperation. As per usual, the harem featured thin eyebrows, shiny hair and that fake niceness you get from the bitches competing with you for the Boxing Day deals. There was the requisite meltdown from the token over 30 hoochie, who of course is only interested in procreation. (FYI, I know plenty of professional over-30 women who want a husband and a baby as much as they want Stephen Harper for Prime Minister.)
The only glimmer of hope was Sarah B., who is from Winnipeg. (GO JETS!) Then. She opened her mouth and YEEEEESOS, the bitch is S-T-U-P-I-D.
To make this whole exercise even more idiotic, they are doing this shit in Paris. Hmm…Americans in Paris? Wasn’t it just a short while ago that Americans were throwing French wine down the sink and serving “freedom fries” instead of French fries?It’s times like this when I really miss Temptation Island.
Best Quote:
As Travis is trying not to kiss Sarah B. they rub each other up as the other girls say…
“Ohmigod he’s feeling her up.”
NO SHIT BITCHES! HE'S A HORNY DOCTOR.
1 comment:
I can't watch this show anymore. The Bachelor is low rent, the ladies are desperate and you are right, it's f'n boring.
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