Sometimes I get obsessed with female celebrities for no reason in particular. I mainly like the mean ones. If she’s hot, flamboyant, has a fat ass and a reputation for being a superbitch, I’ve probably had some sort of girl crush on her.
The most recent apple of my Sapphic eye is Kimora Lee Simmons. For those of you who don’t know, Kimora is the wife of hip hop icon Russell Simmons and she is a piece of work. I got my first glimpse of Kimora when she was being interviewed for her Baby Phat clothing line, a wardrobe staple of urban hoochies the world over. After reading her profile in the New Yorker, Kimora and I were official.
Alas, my beloved Kimora is no Susan Sontag. She is a label-whore, not very smart and is the incarnation of every nouveau riche stereotype you can imagine. She is ghetto fabulous looking to move up in the world. However, her drug bust almost guarantees that she will not be rubbing elbows with any Rockefellers anytime soon. Add to that the absolute egomania that is starring in all the ads for your own clothing line. (JLo doesn’t even do that, so you know homegirl’s head is about ready to burst, it’s so big.) Even her fame stems from her successfully bewitching Russell Simmons. (Baby Phat is the girl version of Phat Farm and have you seen the Def Jam video game?)
Nevertheless, I love Kimora the way I’ve loved Mariah, Beyoncé and JLo in years past. And until the next big-bottomed superbitch comes along, I will always have my Kimora.
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