Best Boyfriend Ever

Since I'm going to be in Vancouver for my actual 30th birthday, my darling Chris is planning a little Toronto to-do for moi. He designed the cutest birthday invite and I really need to share it with everyone who reads my blog.

My baby is the best!

If you're not busy this weekend, please come over to Spirits for a little birthday karaoke and overall debauchery.

This makes me hate her guts even more

I sure do hate me some Gwyneth. And just when I thought the hate couldn't burn any brighter, she goes and does this:


I'm sure a rich, white girl from Manhattan's Upper East Side can really truly feel the plight of Africans dying of AIDS. I guess once all the idea is that all the other rich, white princesses of the world will see Gwynnie in this ad and open up their wallets generously.

My sister got engaged!

Will finally bit the bullet and got her the ring she always wanted. He busted his ass, but it's 1.4 carats and he used an photo of her dream ring as his guide. It's custom-made and here it is:



To quote Tuc: "It's pretty bling"

(My dad's only comment to Will when he called him to tell him that he was going to propose: "Are you sure you're ready for this?")

Here is the happy couple:

Remember Towlie?

One of the best South Park periphery characters.

Here he is trying to remember a security code:



And here is trying to see if the kids want to party:

Victoria Beckham should never speak out loud

Now, I am as fascinated with Victoria Beckham as the next person and cannot get enough of her bony ass in trashy tabloid photos. However, what I cannot seem to fathom is despite the fact that she is unabashedly ridiculed for her stupidity as she is praised for her style, if not more, she still has the audacity to tell Jon Stewart that he isn't funny. Does she even know how to spell sarcasm?

Plus we all know that David is too hot for her. She is essentially the Jennifer Aniston of Britain and we're all just waiting for the day that Angelina goes over there to steal David away from her.

OMG. So hot.

Diego Luna rocks the house with his hotness.

Ivana Young Man

It's better to be a babysitter than a nurse.

The above is the tagline for Ivana Trump’s new reality television show, Ivana Young Man.

Hold up.

How did I not hear about this sooner?

First of all. I effing LOVE Ivana. She is stitched up tighter than a corset and so pumped full of collagen that her lips don’t actually move when she speaks. Plus she beat the Donald at his own game and she found a hairstyle in 1989 and stuck with it.

Ivana like me, dates a younger man. While the age difference between me and my toyboy is only five years, Ivana is a whopping 20+ years older than her man Rossano Rubicondi. FYI. Rossano is hot and Italian.

Back to the show. I just happened to flip to the W network and saw Ivana’s face pop by. The essential premise is that six younger guys vie for the attention of an older lady. Said older lady begins with a makeover from Ivana’s gang of gays. The show is two hours long and ends with a winner. It’s like Jerry Hall’s Kept (which I also love), only wrapped up in one episode and set in New York.

From the first episode here are the highlights from the show:

• Ivana shows up at the end of each segment in these outrageous costumes. For example, at the end of the rock climbing segment, she shows up in a chiffon top, patent leather pants and a blonde fall in her hair. Fan-fucking-tastic.
• Ivana’s accent is amazing. Especially when she is telling one of the guys to “get some balls.”
• Almost immediately the guys are topless and climbing a wall and then afterward they are topless and playing basketball.
• Ivana uses her real-life boyfriend Rossano as a spy. He’s super Italian and just as over the top as Ivana.
• All Kathy (the older lady) keeps talking about is how hot the guys are without their shirts on.
• Ivana dismisses Rossano and relieves him of his services by saying “Take the limo and I’ll see you at home.” Go home bitch!
• Kathy doesn't decided on who leaves, Ivana does it. She gets up and says, "I have made my decision." Then she tells the boys whether or not they are "desired" or "not desired." Kathy bursts into tears after her dismissals. Ivana's response? "It was for your own good." Fierce!
• She gives the guys $2500 to spend on a gift for Kathy. How do I get on this show?
  

Between Ivana and Jerry, I suppose that the younger man/older woman situation is definitely going mainstream.

Hot time in the city

So I’ve just had one of the most relaxing weekends I’ve had in eons. It’s weekends like these that really remind me that:

• Taking time out to really unwind is ever so necessary
• Toronto really is a kick-ass place to live

Saturday

I got up and had a two-hour conversation with my good friends Gina and Hilda in London. Then I made myself a fantastic breakfast of toast, poached eggs and bacon. I ate in front of the television while watching my latest obsession, The Hills.

Then I took a nap before going out to get a manicure and pedicure at Jade Nails with my friend Khavita. I got my nails did and they are fierce and painted in a colour called The Thrill of Brazil. Nothing like having cute Vietnamese ladies going at your feet with a cheese grater to get rid of all those nasty calluses.

Chris and I then headed over for some Korean barbecue on Queen where we ate our faces off. Try the ox tongue next time. You won’t regret it. We capped off our date with a stop off at Ben and Jerry’s.


Sunday

I slept in until 10AM and hauled ass to Rol San for some dim sum with my friend Denise. We then wandered into Kensington Market in search of a patio and some booze. As luck would have it, we ran into my friend Andrew and his friend Mike, who joined us in our quest. After being denied twice, (booze before 1PM is hard to find in Kensington) we settled into a patio and ordered up beer and sangria.

After taking our leave of Andrew and Mike, Denise and I wandered around picking up groceries for the week and soaking up the sun. After braving the crowds of Chinatown (in 30 degree plus weather, it’s no small feat) we called it an afternoon.

I’m home now getting ready to put a roast in the oven and I’m completely satisfied with my weekend.

I am sooo looking forward to the rest of the summer!

Je ne regrette rien

So Zidane had his interview on French television...

First of all. Zidane looked effing HOT.

Second of all, I thought he explained himself just fine. It's simple. Some asshole was talking shit about his mother and his sister and he defended them. Who the fuck cares if you're Zidane at the World Cup. You start with the personal attacks and you know it's going to escalate.

Materazzi knew what he was doing when he started talking. He is a dirty player who deserved what he got.

Here is the interview en Francais.

Zidane is a hero, Materazzi is a zero

I was hugely disappointed in the outcome of Sunday’s game and still feel like the best team didn’t win. More disappointing still, was the fact that one of my favourite World Cup heroes ever, Zinédine Zidane, ended his career on a sour note.

From what I can tell, Zidane is basically the Pete Sampras of football. He’s essentially a quiet guy, who blows up on occasion. There is one other head-butting incident from his days at Juventus and his nickname is the Mad Monk. Nevertheless, the Zidane camp is saying that it takes a lot to provoke Zizou.

Apparently FIFA thinks so too as they’re now looking into Marco Materazzi’s involvement in the head-butting incident. While initially denying that he did anything to provoke such a reaction from Zidane, here is what Materazzi had to say when he found out he was being investigated:

“I did insult him, it’s true, but I categorically did not call him a terrorist,” Materazzi said. “I’m not cultured and I don’t even know what an Islamic terrorist is. I held his shirt for a few seconds only, then he turned round and spoke to me, sneering. He looked me up and down arrogantly and said, ‘If you really want my shirt, I’ll give it to you afterwards’. ”

Hmm. So now he’s being investigated, he’s coming clean about the insult, which he initially had denied. Publicly, Materazzi has, at best, a spotty disciplinary record in the sport of football.

The speculation is that the insult he uttered involved:

• An insulting comment about Zidane’s mother
• A racist remark about Zidane or his mom being a terrorist (Zidane’s parents are Algerian)

Given all the circumstantial evidence, I’m going to go ahead and make my judgement on this one. Yes, head-butting an opponent is inappropriate. However, if said opponent is insulting your family or your race than he better duck, ‘cause I’m expecting to see a swing.


Materazzi is lucky that it was Zidane he was insulting and that he only got a head-butt to the chest. If he had pulled the same shit with someone like Wayne Rooney, he would’ve gotten his ass beaten to a pulp. I hope that the rumours aren’t true and that Materazzi didn’t say what people are saying he did. But if they are, I hope Italy meets France in the finals of Euro 2008 and Theirry Henry elbows him in the face. Hockey styles.

Endquote

One of Italy’s senators, Roberto Calderoli (who once showed up to work wearing a t-shirt with the offensive Mohammed cartoons on it), comments on the French team post-World Cup:

"Italy beat a team which, in the quest for results, sacrificed its own identity by selecting blacks, Muslims and communists"

Makes you wonder. Is Italy the new Germany?

Hot Italian Sausage

Some of the members of the World Cup winning Italian Football team in an underwear ad for Dolce & Gabbana.

My favourite little button

Chris and I finally had a free Sunday, so we hauled our asses off to Oakville to visit one, Maxwell Hunter Carefoot. We picked up the cutest onesie with a robot print from Hard Boiled (‘cause Max is a hipster baby).

Maxy Poo Poo had just turned nine weeks old and is one adorable little man.


Scott and Kat fired up the BBQ and we had ourselves a nice little afternoon lunch. Scott is the master of the grill, so the steaks were perfect, grill marks and all. I had gotten up early that morning to make the accoutrements (cole slaw and potato salad).

After lunch, we fired up the digi cam that Kat’s mom had just passed along to her.

Here is Max looking very unhappy in sunglasses, while his parents look so happy about their little bundle of joy:


And this is the cutest shot of them all. My favourite little button taking a snooze on my shoulder:


If you haven't seen this kid yet, I suggest you invite yourself over ASAP. You have to see Max to believe how cute he is.

Congratulations again Kat and Scott! You make good babies.

Travelocity and Expedia hate communists

So I am not in the mood to do much work today. And on these sorts of days I like to research pretend holidays. Today I thought I’d pretend to go to Cuba.

My favourite sites to use for this sort of thing are either Expedia or Travelocity, mainly because they search a bunch of different airlines and hotels.

So I started off with Travelocity and like a good Canadian I went to the dot ca site instead of the dot com.

Here’s what I got returned to me from my search:

So then I tried Expedia. Again on the dot ca site. Here’s what I got:



From what I last heard, Canadians were free to travel to Cuba.

I’m so glad that both Expedia and Travelocity so generously made the call for me as to whether or not I can go to Cuba — despite the fact that Canadians are free to travel co Cuba and I was on their Canadian sites. This will make it much easier to never ever use their Web sites to book another flight or hotel from them.

Tom Cruise is Pure Cheese

Ah the double finger air poke. You would think that in this day and age that it's done purely for comical reasons.

Tom still thinks it's the perfect pose.

I laughed my ass at this.

Eurotrip 2006

I do realize that this is a bit late coming as I’ve been back for about two weeks now. However, there have been a lot of things happening both at work and personally. I will have an update on some of it a bit later on.

For now, I just want to say that I thoroughly enjoyed my trip to Europe. Chris and I spent three days in London, three days in Paris and another three days in London. Then Chris went home and I was off to Florence with my good friend Hilda. Thanks to Hilda for putting us up while we were in London.

Here are my highlights.

London

• Shopping! I got red ruffled shoes, Jack Purcells, two bags, cufflinks, travel stuff from Muji. I love me some London shopping.
  
• The best curry outside of India. We had amazing Indian food on Brick Lane.
• Chez Bruce. This place cost us an arm and leg, but it was soooo worth it. The best duck I’ve ever had in my life and a cheese plate to die for.
• Eric Clapton at Royal Albert Hall. I’m not a huge fan, but to see him play at this venue was awesome.
• Tate Modern. I saw a lot of museums on this trip. This was my favourite by far. Great collection.
• The Thames. Low due to drought, but still powerful.
• Avenue Q. If you’re ever in New York or London, I highly recommend this show. Puppets giving each other oral sex!
• Fish and chips. I love love love fish and chips at the Rock and Sole Plaice. Chris and I had it as often as we could. Sadly this was only twice.
• Borough Market. I made Hilda and Chris go here almost every day. It’s like St. Lawrence Market on steroids. I cannot get enough of this place. I had the best bacon ever at this place. I still dream of that bacon…

Paris

• The Marais. This was the only area in Paris that wasn’t torn down and re-built by Napoleon. My absolute favourite part of Paris. We stayed at a cute little hotel here.
• Café culture. We’d have a cappuccino in the morning. Walk around a bit. Stop by for a glass of wine or a beer. Walk some more. More wine and beer. I love cafés.
• Steak frites. Chris and I had this every night we were there.
• Boulangeries, fromageries and bouchers. I wish grocery shopping were like this in Toronto.
• Charcuterie. Pork done 15 different ways. Does it get any better?
• Bordeaux wines. Chris and I spent 40 Euros on two bottles to bring back. A 1999 Bordeaux for under 20 Euros! What a steal!
• L’As du Falafel. The best falafel I’ve ever had. The eggplant was like butter.
• Chez Denise. Good traditional, rustic French cooking. Foie gras and steak frites. This place kicked ass.
• The Seine. The most romantic river ever.
• Louis Vuitton on the Champs Elysées. We had champagne while we waited for our purchase (his and hers wallets). Bling bling.
• Seeing Winged Victory at the Louvre.
• The view of Paris from Restaurant Georges, at the top of the Centre Pompidou.
• Losing Chris at the Gare du Nord. Poor guy. I had his passport and his ticket, plus he couldn't speak a word of French. Boy was he sweating bullets. Not so funny at the time, but fricking hilarious now!
  

Florence

• Even more shopping! We went to the outlets and cleaned up. Prada shoes, a Balenciaga bag and a Gucci bag for my sister. Add to that two more pairs of shoes, white gold pavé star earrings, two bottles of wine (including a 30 Euro Chianti) and two sets of La Perla lingerie for 240 Euro (the most I have ever spent on lingerie, but I have a boyfriend now.)
• Bistecca alla Fiorentina. Almost a kilo of steak, cooked rare, drenched in extra virgin olive oil. We had this with white bean salad, asparagus and a kick-ass bottle of Chianti.
• Fresh pasta. I am not normally a fan, but I ate it every day and effing loved it.
• Mercato Centrale. We ate here almost every day. Parma ham, authentic Florentine trippa burger (tripe burger), stews, pasta and gypsies — this place had it all.
• Botticelli’s Birth of Venus. I could not stop staring at this painting. It was breathtaking.
• Gelato. Pistachio gelato that actually tasted like pistachio. We had this every single day for a week.
• Buca Mario. So good, we had to eat here twice.
• Wild boar. I had this with pappardelle in a sauce the first time, then again as an entrée served with the best polenta.
• Chianti. We had a bottle every single night we were there. It doesn’t get any better.
• Piazzas. Why doesn’t Toronto have a piazza? Florence had dozens!
• The Arno. Simply gorgeous.
• Pontevecchio. The best jewellery you’ll ever find. True Florentine craftsmanship and tons of vintage art deco pieces (my favourite).
• Salvatore Ferragamo museum. This man was a genius.
• Boboli Gardens. The Medicis knew how to do excess well. This garden is huge and amazing.
• Basilica of Santa Croce. The tombs of Michelangelo and Marconi!

Overall a fantastic trip. After being away with no Internet access for a total of 17 days, I am much more relaxed. Check out my photos on Flickr.

Talk Shows Bite

There was a point where I really loved Conan O’Brien. My sister and I would endure the completely unfunny meanderings of Jay Leno and David Letterman to watch Conan. Eventually, he too became tiresome and I found better things to do with my late nights.

It’s hard to put into words why I really dislike the likes of Letterman and Leno. However there is a video that summarizes it well. This is Harvey Pekar’s last appearance on Letterman before he was banned from the show. He was eventually asked back roughly 10 years later.

Notice that instead of dealing with Pekar in an intelligent manner he instead resorts to using good old sight gags and mental illness insults. What a tool.

Happy Birthday Jerktic!

It’s my sister’s 28th birthday today and she’s asked for a Gucci bag.


I think I’ll surprise her with something a little more rustic.


Seriously though. I will be shopping my hardest to find her the perfect bag at the Gucci outlet in Florence. Anything to make my little jerktic happy.

Can wait!

This guy is OTT

First of all, I've been addicted to You Tube for far too long now. Second of all, WTF Tom Cruise? Why? Why do you do this?

Eminem’s Predecessor

Ah the white rapper. Will he ever win?

Ricky, Stephen & Karl watch Brokeback Mountain

So effing hilarious.